had 3hrs of mt today...

and the best part is my MT results sucks seriously...

wonder how i'm going to survive alevel mt exam...

i have to learn to complain less,

and thanks others more...

maybe i should learn how to be more open-minded,

and be grateful for what i have..

because i know i still have many good friends:)

i shall not read too much in to things anymore..

learnt to be more ignorant

because...

ignorance is bliss:D

maybe i should care lesser about what others think about me..

just be who i wanna be..

i'll try and change...

GET WELL SOON, my dear BRO!!!!!!!!!

The first time I felt so unwanted by you was the times when you were with JJ. He hit me because of you and right in front of you and you did nothing about it. Remember why? I guess u have already forgot about this incident...

And In Sec4, I admit that I am sometimes super unhappy because there are a lot of times when you just walked away with ChoonHan without saying anything to me. After school you would just leave with him. Some of the times, I didn’t even know you left, and I was still looking for you, until someone tells me that you had already went off. Every time I see you walking out of the class with him, not even saying anything to me, I feel so useless, it’s like I’m someone that is just so insignificant, or maybe just some one for you when there’s no others for you to turn to. Even during lunch, you would say you don’t want to eat, when I say I want to go downstairs to eat, you will say that you’re lazy. So, I had to go alone, I seriously don’t like the feeling of being lonely. And there was once when I came back to class you were not there, but went down to had ice-cream with him, even after you told me that you are lazy to go downstairs. I felt so hurt.

There are times when I text you, you never replied me, but you replied the others. I don’t know why this is so. Honestly, I have tried asking XJ and Edwin to msg you to see if you replied them, every time you replied them and never replied me. At that time, I felt so pissed, it’s like I am so unimportant to you. I made this known to you a number of times then you finally replied me. But your replies are still so different from how you replied the others. The reply you gave me are always one word long or maybe longest a few words. I really don’t understand why its just so different. Even until today, the way you message me is still so different from how u msged the others. This year, there was once we were going to watch movie during June holidays, you were at Adelene’s house and Philo was with me, we msged you and the replies we got are just so different. You repliedonly 1 or 2 of my msges and u stopped replying, but u replied him so many more, I saw the way u msged him, its like so different from mine, I don’t know why you cant reply me the same way also. Maybe it’s just so different I guess. I don’t understand I seriously don’t. Why?

we are just so different from others...

i am tired of

repeating the

everything

over and

overagain

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRIEND!:)

...life sucks...

...everything sucks...

...yeah?...

You can't take back the words you said.

You can't undo what you have done,

what's done is done, don't regret.

Everything has changed,

you can't get back what you have lost,

because I have decided that i shall not repeat the cycle anymore.

That's course I'm tired.

Tired of trying.

At least I'm better with the way things are going now:)

because I have choose to live with people who accept me for who I'm.

i hope everything will be fine now...

at least with my frens..

if u dont appreciate wad i do for u den there's no point being frens anymore i guess..

School sucks..

and everything sucks...

is this wad i called frens..

now

i am NOT the ONLY ONE that thinks you 2 doesnt treat us like frens..

i dunno wad u all want!

i dunno how u all feel!

HEY LOOK!

i am a human too

no difference from the both of you..

i do have feelings...

but do your treat me like one?

i am NOT a robot!...

i am tired of trying..

trying so HARD!

trying so so so hard to start a conversation with both of you...

but what yr do is just reply for the sake of replying!..

just tell me wads wrong..

wads the prob???

if u 2 dont say i wont know anything..

then there's really nothing i can do...

just tell me i am tired of guessing..

and this is not the first time your treat me this way...

i have tried everything that i could...

i'm exhausted..

i'm tired...

when yr got no one to go to then come to me...

u threw yr bags on our table and went off to sat at the other table to have fun with some other guys, u 2 came back took yr bag and walk off, just like that??

how will u feel when yr frens went off quiely behind u w/o even saying a simple goodbye???

the cycle repeats

i am tired of everything...

i really feel like just giving everything up...

but do yr know how hard it is when i treat yr as real good frens?

and when yr treat me like that its enough

why do yr want to treat sky like that too?

are yr brainless?

LOW EQ?
cant u see that she is very moody recently...

alot of things happened but do yr know?

do yr even cared?

is this wad i called frens?

yr didnt help her but now ignore her like that too..

just so heartless..

i'm speechless...

i seriously dont uds wad is going on!

tell me why!

everything just seems to come crashing down on me..

so many things to do

so little time...

so many responsibilities...

so many things to worry about...

so many things have been happening..

everything's so confusing...

i am tired...

i really hope the time would really stop...

even for a few second i am contented..

i really need some time off from school..

i am really really tired..

if i'm given just 1 day..

or even just 1 hr to be free from all these things

i would be so grateful...

to my dear girl, cheer up please i dun wanna see u so sad everyday...u got to get over her...she's not worth yr love at all..seeing u so helpless there's really nothing i can do...u gt to be strong! mid course is the most important thing now...i want u to go thru my jc life with me=)

i dont need frens like your!

:)

all pretenders...

If i dont say anything doesnt mean i dont care

dont get overboard..

u 'll know me when i cant take it..

stop all this rubbish if u dont trust wad i say why ask?

if u dont trust wad i say den dont suan me

dont talk to me

get the hell OUTTA my LIFE!

i wont know if u're can be trusted or not..

only god knows and u know...

-i shall start STUDYING hard tmr!

(but i doubt it will be hard haha)

its yr promise to me, make me proud of you!=D

my mind just cant stop thinking..

that stupid irritating feeling just wont go away...

i hate it..

i am trying hard..

very hard to stop thinking about it..

but i cant help it..

pls tell me wad i can do..

i know u have your reason for lying to me...

thats why i decided to forgive u..

it pains me too when i see that u feel guilty for wad u have done..

but its not entirely your fault either...

i cant control my emotions well now..

at least for the time being..

i need time..

time to get over this...

i know before this incident you trust her..

trust her so much...

and it really made me thinks that u trust her more den u trust me..

but with all the assurance u gave me..

i cant help but to trust u once again...

i hope u wont let me down again...

Something today really made me go, ROF(L) But Not Laughing. Get a life seriously, and act like a 17 since youre one, instead of some juvenile though you look like one. I dont feel sorry for being blunt, even if youre my friend's girl. Cause for a matter of fact, i dont really care bout your identity. For the things you've done in the past, i didnt wanna comment much since they didnt involve me but not so this time round. If you really think its funny joking with everyone around you and things like this, get this clear, its not. Maybe some people may think its cute and funny, but i dont. I seriously dont.

the after effect of this incident is still here..

i dont like the feeling..

i still feel very unhappy about this..

i know u didnt do all this intentionally..

i know its not entirely your fault..

i am the one who should bear the greatest responsibility about this incident...

i shouldnt be so childish...

i should really learn to be more mature..

i shouldnt play with this kind of things..

i am really sorry..

i dont know wad u have heard of me to give u some bad impression about me..

but i dont do this things coz i think its funny or even think is cute..

maybe u think that i'm such a person..

but i am not..

i do it coz of plain playfulness...

AND nth else...

i know i offended u first but dont judge me when u duno me well..

i am still trying...

15/07/2009

at first gal A told me that she feels tt gal B is very unfriendly...

and i tried to make them talk to each other..

coz i tot it would be good to form a larger clinque...

and thus more fun!....

but i was wrong very wrong...

i shouldnt have done it...

now i really regret what i have done...

i should not have told u tt she's not as bad as u think...

and she will be better when u kinow her long enuf...

i should not have told u so so so much...

i really regret..

maybe this is what i brought upon myself...

i really think that i should not have done all these..

if i didnt do so, i will be much happier today...

BUT now...

the outcome was so diff from what i wanted..

now Gal A and B become so close tt both of them almost ignored me..

they was so preoccupied with each other..

everytime when i tried to talk to A she wont be listening to me...

i had to repeat myself for a few more times until she gets wad i say...

i aam tired of repeating myself everytime i talk to her...

i am trying not to care so much anymore...

u want to talk to me or not its up to you...

and gal B was even better...

i really dk what she wants from me..

i am totally clueless!..

pls tell me what u want?

when i am close to gal C u came and u become closer to her...

making me felt so left out...

and after tt i decided to move on and found a new fren which is galA then u are back here agn..

taking her away frm me...

i really dk why!....

i am tired i just dont wanna care anymore...

u all cn do wad u all like...

i hate this feeling...

i hate being left out..

i dont feel like caring about anything tt all of u wanna do anymore...

i dunwan to be a leech either...

so pls just stop it...

give me a break...

just leave me alone...

i had enuf of these...

i think i can suvive better on my own..

at least i wont have to feel left out...

i am really really scared of tt felling...

so pls spare me...

my teddy is still the best...

14july2009

i woke up in the morning and found tt i have gt sore eyes..

went to sch and was stopped by tr at the gate...

they wanted to send me home but in the end they didnt..

just asked a few qn like do u have cough flu or fever...=.=

time passes real slow during lectures...

everytime i look at the clock only a few mins difference..

ppl in my class are getting more and more hardworking..

except me..

i have got lots of work to catch up on but i am still slacking..

i know i shouldnt but i really have gt no mood to study...

i have no mood to have fun in sch no mood to talk..

i have been doing my own things during the whole of econs lesson...

drawing all over my paper..

and see how pathetic my econs test is 4/45...

haha what a joke...

I still have lots of work to complete...

i reached home and no one was at home..

nobody told me tt they wont be home tt early...

i called my sis and she shouted at me...

she doesnt want to come home and open the door for me..

she ask me to just go somewhere until everyone goes home...

whr's her respect for me?

i dk...

i dont know wads wrong...

sch just dont feel the same as before anymore...

i used to enjoy sch but now i dont..

i rather stay home the whole day and rot...

why is it tt she's always the one who wants to take everything away frm me??

i duno if she's still the fren tt i use to know in sec2..

everything just seem so different..

she really make me feels very left out..

i think i shld just leave everyone alone and do things my own way..

maybe this is the best choice for me now..

i am tired...

learned how to play golf to day..didnt really enjoy much..

after tt went bball-ing...yAy-ness!!!=D

den home-ed...

i sometimes really dont know why u want to do these...

it makes me think if u're just treating me a backup person or wad...

its like when u have frens u dont care about me at all...

but when u couldnt find someone to accompany u,

u will den look for me...

just telll me what u're thinking..

i am tired of guessing...

i sent u an sms asking u out for bball but u didnt reply me at all,

when u know tt i hate ppl who doesnt reply my sms-es..

i was waiting for yr reply but u nv did...

but u could go out for bball-ing with other guys...

but why???

cn u tell me why??

13july2009

didnt do very well for my summer test...

so far only passed 2 subjects...

and i failed my maths!..

gonna get it from daddy and mummy after ptm...

but for now i shld just enjoy myself 1st...:)

THXS PPL FOR GIVING ME SUCH A WONDERFUL BIRTHDAY!

i really enjoyed tt few days after summer test..

really had lots of fun..

the 1st week of sch after summer test just ended...

many things happened..

i have gt surprise...

have gt unhappy thing happening too...

but its now solved i think..

hopefully bah...

11days:)

i will be counting down...